Life in General

I'm sitting in a coffee shop with a little less than year between now and the last time I wrote on this blog about what my life is like. My "about me" section still describes my life as a home schooled high school student who had never moved or really experienced a lot of change in her life.
Since senior year ended last may, I have spent more time away from my home than at home. I have found and am still finding new places that I now think of as home as well. I finished my freshman year of college and enjoyed learning more than I ever had in my entire life. I gained a new perspective on politics and the world around me as I watched a major US election unfold without being under my parent's roof for the first time.
Patten and I navigated a long distance relationship through all of that, and came out on the other side (wohoo!!). I guess we still like each other.

Through two roommates and lots of brand new friendships, I learned just how many kinds of people there are that I had no idea existed.

I somehow believed that the people I have been friends with for my entire life covered every personality characteristic known to man...and then I moved and realized I was completely wrong, and that my friends at home are all generally united over similar interests and temperaments. Covenant introduced me to challenging and life-giving relationships with precious people from all over the country and the world. They took me stargazing and hiking in the dark at 1 AM, we spent weekends exploring at beautiful cabins in the mountains, and got lost in the streets of downtown Chattanooga, driving in circles for 30 minutes when our destination was only 5 minutes away the entire time (I'm looking at you, Hannah King). I ran through those same streets with my roommate in the pouring rain and arrived back on campus completely soaked and perfectly content.

But I also felt lonely. I stood and cried in the lobby of my building as I said goodbye and watched Patten drive back to Carrollton for what felt like the hundredth time.  I ate meals in the great hall alone, which is completely inevitable for everyone at least a handful of times, and it is also inevitable to convince yourself at that moment that you are the only one who experiences this, so your life is terrible and none of your friends care about you (by the way, that is a completely ridiculous and damaging thing to believe. Don't let yourself do it). I planned breakfast dates with friends only to sleep through my alarms and accidentally stand them up. I showed up to plenty coffee dates with friends, but though I was there, I would come drained and unwilling to devote myself to that time with them. That might have been worse than not showing up at all.

Despite all of the brokenness and inconsistency on my part, I was constantly pursued by my roommates, my RA, and my entire hall. Specific professors made sure to pour into me and give me grace, as did friends from all over campus. They showed me Jesus every single day.

Covenant introduced me to my first job, at an assisted living home where I made nearly as many friends as I did on campus. I came to the realization that I am not cut out to be an RA my sophomore year, despite myself and many other leaders in my life feeling convinced that I am. That taught me that when hard choices come up, an alternate door just might open unexpectedly and present a job opportunity that you are thrilled about. People may have though I was crazy for dropping a potential RA job, but I went with my gut anyway, and I am so thrilled that I did (SMCs, next year is gonna be such a great adventure!!).

In terms of writing, I discovered that I might be not so cut out for life as a journalist (though that is still up for debate), but that I still come alive when I write, and that I will continue to pursue a degree in English. It taught me that although my mom and sister are both speech therapists, linguistics is a really fun but extremely challenging subject for me, and that community development is an unexpected love that quite literally changed my life during my second semester at Covenant.

A lot has changed, but I still feel like a confused 12 year old just trying to figure out what to do next. I still can't make decisions without overthinking all of my options, and I still text my mom an average of three to five times a day. Recently I heard that all adults feel this way, practically all of the time. If that is true, which I'm pretty convinced it is...I better hold on to my friends and family tightly, or join a support group for the rest of my life. Because EEK.

Y'all, I don't know what I'm trying to say with all of this other than that I completely love my life. It has been messy and crazy but Jesus always, always is faithful. He makes every second worth it. I fail daily to live for His kingdom, yet he still brings me back to Himself with abundant joy, life, and forgiveness.


  1. Claire, loved this post! You are such an honest person - believe this will minister to many. Hope you're enjoying your summer (and getting a little rest) (?) Love you!


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